A few weeks ago, I talked about the abandonment process I had to go through in my love of words in order to come home to the deeper truth within why words were so important to me — the feelings words bring and the capacity they have to support us in powerfully creating our lives through feeling.
But for years, there’s been one single word that I couldn’t wrap myself around the feeling of. It’s a word I loved to use, but hated hearing other people use in association with me.
Though I felt the disconnect for years, I only developed the awareness to explain why very recently.
It took years of healing work and years of exploration and cultivation of what the word meant to me before I was able to wrap my mind around, and subsequently get past, the disdain that the the word used in association with me brought up within me.
Paradoxically, it’s perhaps the word most commonly associated with the infinite version of me — the sorceress.
That word is MAGIC.
And here’s why:
To me, magic was always something that couldn’t be created by trying. It didn’t involve effort or magic wands or egotistical intentions. It wasn’t something I would ever consider using to get what I want. Rather, it was something that already existed both outside of and within me — and when something was truly in my highest, I had simply but to align with it.
When we have a knowing deep within us that we’re meant to bring to the planet, we have layers of protection we’ve placed upon it in order to cultivate it within ourselves first — armor that feels like resistance until it’s removed.
My sensitivity towards the word pointed out aspects of the typical perception of the “sorcerer” that felt like nails on a chalkboard to me — perceptions that I knew I was here to help people shift, in order to embody the true leadership potential of the actual sorcerers they had the capacity to be.
90% of the time I heard people use the word, it carried connotations of subtle fear-based thinking. It smelled of the kind of “sorcery” practiced only by people who were controlled by deep animal-instinct fears of believing they are separate — separate from others, and separate from that very same Source energy they’re calling upon to make magic.
This kind of “sorcery” was similar to a kid in a science lab conjuring up potions to make someone love them or get what it is they think they want. And though humans do have the capacity to conjure up said form of “magic,” it will lead to even less fulfillment than where we started. Heck, look at most people out there teaching “Law of Attraction” and how little anything they teach has to do with a deeper sense of contribution to the planet.
I’ve never had any interest in that kind of magic. To me, it’s not even magic — it’s manipulation that will lead to the very same emptiness inside from which it began.
True magic is always present. It’s what lies in the pure possibility of Source energy.
And Source is everything — which means that everything contains magic.
Magic comes in the honoring of the beauty and love within everything. And we become capable of consciously creating magic only when we align with that love.
Creating magic is like a lightning rod. We — our bodies, our minds, our hearts, our spirits — need only to become the love that is in the heart of the magic, and it comes to us.
It’s not disconnecting from the body to conjure up something outside of it. It’s stepping into the body to return to the home inside of the self and allow the love to flow in.
We don’t need magic wands or potions or spells. We need only love. And because we are love, the only time magic ever evades us is when we forget that.
The kind of manipulation implied within the common use of the word magic comes from a lack of trust in the greater energy that runs through everything, and a lack of love for the the self that represents that greater energy.
We use “magic” to manipulate because we’re scared we won’t receive the love we crave. When we remember we are the love we crave, magic becomes an automatic part of the human experience.
This does not mean that consciously asking for the magic to come to us, in and of itself, is manipulative. One of the core beauties and purposes of humanity is to experience the power we have in creating.
True expression of that power comes through a sense of purpose that guides us to the magic and what’s required of us to consciously create it, as well as the surrender required to receive the magic that’s already there waiting for us.
The line between magic as manipulation and magic as pure integrity of love lies within us. And when we choose to trust in Source to lead us back home to ourselves, our power as creators becomes akin to the force of nature we intuitively knew from a very young age we were born to be.
When we recognize that magic is not manipulation, but that it is simply a way love takes form, the need for spells and magic wands dissolves. Magic takes over and shows us the way to all we could ever desire in our experience.
Ever since learning how to string together a sentence, I’ve loved words. They were my favorite art form, with meaning, inflection and expression infused into each syllable. I loved writing, I loved speaking, and I loved learning new languages. The feeling of words as they rolled off my tongue to communicate what was in my heart — there was always something about tapping into the vastness of possibility in choosing my expression precisely to convey my feeling that was deeply fulfilling for me.
As I grew older, something changed. I heard others question them, remarking on how much we as humans rely on them, and getting frustrated over questioning their semantics. I realized that overthinking, and therefore talking about things beyond true necessity, was actually a downfall I wanted to get past. I never stopped loving words, but I did begin to question their importance.
In that curiosity and questioning, I began to notice how often words are used as fillers, distracting from the truth of an experience. They’re often thrown around meaninglessly, but trying too hard to make meaning of things only brought people suffering.
And so I allowed this element of myself — this aspect of my creativity and self expression that I felt in my core — to be questioned, even abandoned while I found my truth. Because sometimes we have to let go of the need we thought we had for something to discover whether it’s actually a part of our ego or our essence.
But we can’t ever actually abandon our gifts… because our gifts never abandon us.
Even during the times we are called to question them, we’re actually doing so to find deeper elements of truth within where or how they run through us — they never actually leave us. In fact, something interesting can happen when we start to let these gifts go.
Because I allowed myself to open to the possibility that this passion might actually be a part of my ego ready to release, I gave myself permission to find new elements of truth. In the opening that occurs when we let something go entirely, we’re able to allow in possibility we wouldn’t be able to see were we to cling onto it tightly.
In this examination and excavation, I found a new relationship with words. In many ways, it was one I’d had all along — but I was now able to see the truth underneath why I’d been coveting them, giving me new capacity to use them only when necessary and for the purpose that carried an expression that was more true to my divine nature, to who I desired to be.
I found that my love was less about the words themselves and more about the feeling infused in each word and the capacity they bring me to express myself fully and clearly.
Words allow us to powerfully create the world we desire to live in through that feeling in expression. They allow us to bring more feeling to each other and the moments we share together. They gift others with a capacity to feel within their bodies, where they may have been previously numb.
We are on this planet to express, to create, to know ourselves as Source.
For me, the most profound channel with which to do these things is feeling — and words enhance, cultivate, and expand what’s possible not only in our feeling nature, but in the art we can make with our feelings. Crafting a feeling into words is like taking the expansive nature of feeling inside myself and finger painting them up against a wall that people can take in the experience of, one stroke at a time.
Instead of it being semantics to question the use of a particular word, I see it as attuning ourselves to the conscious choice of what we desire to feel, and what we desire others to feel in our expression.
Had I clung onto my need to be validated in my love of words, unwilling to let go of the possibility they may not be my truest expression, I would not have found this new capacity in expressing them.
Questioning what was true for me brought me back to an original love, and it also shined light on other gifts I enjoyed expressing. It also brought me around full circle to having more respect for the various elements of what makes me, me.
When we’re forced to question what was once important to us, the root of what’s important doesn’t disappear. It remains within the deepest fibers of our being because the true threads of our soul can’t be taken away from us no matter what we choose. In questioning the aspects of them that were simply “personality” or ego, we are given the opportunity to release the padding and the dust around our gifts and our passions — the elements that were never really us.
What is left over at the end of the excavation process is not only a better representation of our true gifts and passions, but also a newfound integration of who we really are.
And it is the integration of our gifts — how they dance together in and as our true expression — that holds many people back from living their truest purpose. Whenever I hear people say that they’re challenged by having so many passions they don’t know where to begin on their path of purpose, it is the integration of them that screams out to me as what they haven’t yet found.
Our gifts are rarely meant to be used in isolation. They want to dance together to make up the conglomeration of expression that is us, individually, in our true nature. And when our gifts have the opportunity to find their next-deepest expression, we may find that place where everything that’s ever been important to us comes together to show us the tapestry of the infinite version of ourselves we’ve always felt deep down.
If you’re an entrepreneur or business owner (current or aspiring – whatever level you’re at), and you’d love an opportunity to dig more deeply into your gifts, take a look at our fun new offering, FROM SOUL TO BUSINESS: Love Letters & Lessons from Experts with Successful Businesses & Fulfilling Lives. It packs a powerful punch in bite-sized pieces, and it’s thoughtfully created and carefully curated with you in mind. It’s totally free and super fun – click here to check it out.
In my last blog post, I shared one of the biggest myths floating around about being a sensitive being who absorbs the feelings of those around them. Because of this myth, sensitive beings around the world have been taught to hold back. We have been instructed to play small. We have been guided to abandon our true nature out of a fear that if we don’t play it safe, we’ll live a life of constant overwhelm from our surroundings. We have been taught that overwhelm is simply a part of our true nature and we have to suck it up and deal with it.
The true nature of the empath, however, is one that desires a full embodiment of the power we can feel inside, and a complete expression of it in the world.
And we cannot be the true expression of our power when we are hiding from the world.
So what if instead of hiding from the world, we sensitive beings were to do the opposite, and actually run toward it?
I have been traveling full-time for the last 3.5 years, and travel has been the biggest key to healing and embracing my power that I have ever found.
When I first began my travels, I had already done a LOT of work on myself. In well over a decade of deep spiritual and self-development work, I had gone deeper than deep (or so I’d thought). But my travels taught me so much more than I could have learned by staying in one place… so much more than I could have ever realized I needed to learn or grow.
I have had incidents in airports that have rocked my world, but with each one I have come out feeling more powerful and fully expressed. I have experienced cultural frustrations that felt draining, but with each one I have come to the other side of feeling more connected to myself and every individual I meet throughout the world than I ever knew possible. I have felt the fear of uncertainty around my own safety, but each time, I have found more of what safety truly means within myself.
I have hit road blocks, challenges, exhaustion, overwhelm, and frustration. And I have come out the other side feeling free, full of exponential energy, and able to handle anything within this world and this cray-mazing life.
Traveling shined the light on the many fears that were hidden within the cracks and crevices of my psyche and the deep imprinting from lifetimes of having my power oppressed. But most importantly, it showed me where I was still keeping that fear, shame, sadness, repression, and all other supposedly painful emotions buried deeply within me.
And, in confronting the feelings that only a new land could bring, I discovered that pain was anything but. I found an ecstasy in the feeling itself that my travels helped to lovingly and courageously trigger.
When I would arrive in a new land, I would experience new things — including the history, the culture, and the pain of that land. As an empath, I was told by many that I just needed to learn to protect myself better. I was given advice on all sorts of methods to protect my energy field so that I wouldn’t absorb the pain of the land around me.
But I knew that wasn’t the answer. I knew that every ounce of pain I could feel externally could only enter me because it was already within me on some level.
And so I began to see my travels as an opportunity not only to explore, not only to experience new people and places, but to experience aspects of myself I wouldn’t have been able to find elsewhere — experiences that the land and its people were wanting to bring out in me, allowing hidden aspects of me to be seen.
I learned to receive every new situation and circumstance as my teacher.
From the frustratingly slow service in Brazil that always made me late for work, to the shame of Catholicism in Italy, to the uncertainty and fear of Morocco, and beyond. Each land brought me to my knees with a new experience of myself, a new experience of my humanity that was ready to be birthed, and a newfound lightness of being that I could never have experienced by staying home in the same place.
If we “play it safe” and keep to what we know in isolation, we as sensitive beings are depriving ourselves of the opportunity for our sensitivity to work the magic it is intended to have. It wants to grow us. It wants us to feel deeply, so that we can re-imprint the cells in our minds and bodies to restore the knowing of our true power.
Early on in my travels, I couldn’t get off an airplane without feeling overwhelmed by the energy I took on and I couldn’t get on an NYC subway without bursting into tears afterward.
Now, places like airplanes, subways, and busy cities like Manhattan feel like a simple playground of magic and comfort. Now, I can live in cities with high levels of danger and human conflict, and feel safe, grounded, and at home. And, most importantly, I have found a magic within the wholeness in my own being that doesn’t get rocked by the external world.
If you’re looking for a way to explore your empathic nature and learn how to make the most of it (even without leaving home!), be sure to check out our Embrace Your Darkness challenge. It’s a free, magical resource for discovering and celebrating all of who you are so you can become the powerful being you were born to embody. Dive right in!
I used to absorb the energy and emotions of everything around me. I mean everything. I couldn’t be inside of a mall, a concert, a subway, or a busy street without feeling at least a bit overwhelmed. I remember living in San Francisco and having to take the train to work every day, and arriving at work already feeling worn out and exhausted from all of the energy on the train car.
Now, I can go into the busiest place, even inside of the strangest neighborhood, and feel simply like myself. I can spend hours in a crowded space, with people I wouldn’t normally engage with, and come out feeling grounded, whole, and in love with life.
I hear people in the world of self-development and spirituality talk about the need to “protect” oneself. Recommendations for staying clear of outside energies, judgment, fear, etc. run rampant on social media channels and coming from the mouths of various spiritual leaders and self-development junkies.
I actually believe all humans are empaths if we become fully aware of our feelings. We all have the capacity to feel, we are all ultimately one, and it’s inevitable that we will all be able to feel the feelings of others. And, as someone who has been deemed by many previous mentors and guides as one of the most sensitive people they have ever met, I really get how this need to protect oneself can feel necessary.
But now that I’m beyond the woes of my sensitivities — now that my days are filled with harmony and joy, and my feelings are only my own, I can say that the nature of protecting oneself is quite contrary to what most empaths actually need.
Though it may be a fabulous band-aid (and I agree that, when in a place of desperation, a band-aid method is far better than nothing), for anyone who desires to find an ultimate peace in their empathic nature — to use their ability to feel as a gift and not a curse — the greatness of possibility lies far beyond protection mechanisms.
The greatness lies in doing exactly the opposite of what most empaths are inclined to do.
The key to overcoming the challenges of absorbing everything around us is not to hide from those challenges, or to protect ourselves from them. It’s to come to the root of the challenge itself.
We are given challenges because there is something in that challenge that, when integrated, will guide us to become a more powerful being. And, as empaths, the same goes for the challenges of the feelings around us.
As a planet, we are on a precipice of change. We are ready to peel back the veils of illusion, and as empaths, we have the capacity to guide and lead this world into that change — but in order to do so, we must be willing to show up to the face of the pain and find the truth within it.
Most empaths run from environments where change is most needed because it seems too painful, too dark, too scary. But it’s our opportunity, if not calling, to stay — to stay and integrate any appearance of darkness.
As empaths, we have the capacity to identify where pain exists on this planet, and support it into becoming light. But in order to do so, we must integrate the pain within ourselves first. Once we’ve done that, we can stand by the pain of the world with loving eyes and guide it into the love we’ve found within ourselves.
And because our sensitivities have led us to more cracks and crevices of pain, once it’s integrated, we will be able to carry oceans of love within us.
Therefore, it is not a matter of avoiding the negative in order to stay positive.
It is a matter of recognizing that underneath all that appears negative, there is something within us that’s viewing it as negative, ready to shift. When we integrate the darkness within us into the light it wants to be, we learn that nothing was ever actually negative — it was simply our fear of it that perceived it as negative.
Imagine how much light would exist in each of our own individual worlds if we were to integrate everything we fear into love? Imagine the lightness. Imagine the possibility.
As empaths, it is our responsibility to get out there. It is our responsibility NOT to shut down the feeling we are picking up from our surroundings. It is our responsibility to get out into the world and allow ourselves to pick up what we can feel from others, and to use it to shine additional light on the cracks and crevices within our own beings where there is still more darkness ready to be integrated.
If all of the sensitive beings in the world were to recognize the power they have to heal themselves through their ability to feel the rest of the world, we would have a massive army of beings on this planet who are ready to hold the space of light in the face of darkness, and transform it.
Though it seemed like more work at first, choosing the path of integrating the resonance of everything I could feel outside of me quickly became worth it, not only for the army of light I could feel myself becoming a part of, but selfishly, even for myself. The lightness of being I have found has far outweighed any moment where I played it safe by guarding myself in my earlier empathic days.
Which will you choose?
Stay tuned for part two of this story, where I share my favorite tool to transform our sensitive nature from a challenge into a gift.
In the meantime, I invite you to check out the Embrace Your Darkness challenge – a 5-day journey into celebrating all of you and deepening the gift of your empathic nature so you can join this army of light. The world is ready for you!
There’s nothing like it.
The feeling of floating across the dance floor, my feet intricately stepping in the moment of one undulating beat after another, my body moving freely with the music as my feet bring my body to the precise location where the next move flows through me like magic, feeling the gentle nudge of my partner’s fingers guiding my entire body to the next fulfilling expression, moving in perfect synchronization with another person through a knowing that only the connection of the body can express… planting one foot firmly in perfect timing with the music as I’m guided into a vortex of spins, my body perfectly aligned with the balance of gravity that takes me into a blissful state of movement. Everything inside of me gets stirred up like magic stirring rapidly in a pot to create divine explosion.
My love of dance has given me a recognition for life. Music, the fullness of expression in the body, human connection, and the playfulness that’s available through it all, have brought me to new heights of love and gratitude for the human experience.
But, as I’ve discovered, it’s so much more than this.
In the beginning, it wasn’t so easy.
In the beginning, I had to face fears of not-enoughness in my expression.
In the beginning, I had to confront the parts of me that wanted to push and make things harder than they needed to be.
In the beginning, I had to learn to be with myself through the parts that were seeking perfection, and surrender to the imperfection required to get there.
In the beginning, I had to go through the struggle with the many parts of my mind and body that refused to let go of control, encountering layer upon layer until that need for control was killed off and I entered a space where I could follow the guidance of another in perfect flow of my own expression.
This last piece was perhaps the hardest.
As humans, we long to be in our own unique expression… but we also long to remember the oneness that connects us to each other, the masculine and feminine expression each finding its own perfect balance on the line between offering up and receiving, individuating and surrendering into the unity of connection.
As a woman who jumped face first into the pool of unique individual expression from a very young age, spending years upon years peeling away the barriers to being in the fullness of her own power and expression, learning to follow the lead of another was one of the hardest things I’ve done.
My inclination for back-leading (exerting back guidance to your partner, and unconsciously ignoring the guidance he is trying to give you in that same moment) was subconscious. With anything we work to shift within ourselves, there can be an opposite end of the spectrum we risk going into. Through our fight to become more of this, we may also unknowingly become too much of that.
And through dance, I discovered that my fight for individuation and taking back my power had also led me into a place where I was unable, on a very visceral level, to surrender to the lead of another.
Discovering this was frustrating. Because once I was ready to see what was holding me back, the cognitive awareness still didn’t change the imprinting in my mind and body that was subconsciously causing me to want to control.
The conscious effort I made to let go of control did eventually bring me to a new space in my dancing; to a new level where the fluidity and flow in the dance reverberated through my being as I finally, truly, allowed another to guide me across the dance floor.
The most amazing part, though, wasn’t the added joy it brought to the time I spent dancing — it was the added joy it brought to every other aspect of my life.
They say yoga is a practice that begins on the mat but represents every aspect of your life and being off the mat. I wholeheartedly believe this, and have found dance to be the same.
And as I took the surrender, the letting go, and the ability I was finding to let life lead me off of the dance floor and into my daily experience, I found an expanded version of life. The magic that was able to unfold in my life grew, similar to the way a dance became more fun and joyful when I learned to just let go and follow the lead.
As I learned to do so, I found a greatness in my own unique and individual expression that I couldn’t have found by trying to exert my expression through a space of control. It was as if the space I created around me through letting go gave me more room for freedom, more room to be all of me — more room to even know who “me” was in that expression.
Though I stopped dancing seriously years ago, the path of letting go it set me on makes me a better dancer. Though I may not be as skilled as I was when I was rehearsing and performing, when it was a focal point of my life, dance set me on a path of freedom.
This freedom and trust — in my own expression, and the expression of another — integrates itself every time I come back to the dance floor, bringing me to new heights of ecstasy in my own being, ecstasy in the flow of movement, music, and connection.
Life is an expression of ourselves as the divine. And, if we allow it to be, everything we get to do in this human experience can bring us closer to the divine within ourselves.
What do you love to do that reflects and brings you closer knowing yourself as an expression of the divine? We’d love to hear in the comments below or in our private Facebook group Soulful Brilliance!