Isaac Newton said, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.”
For every contraction that takes place within us, an equal amount of expansion is trying to happen.
Look at your body and its way of contracting to create expansion and expanding to creating contraction. It’s one of the simplest laws of physics.
So then why do we humans work so hard at squelching our fear?
We believe that fear is something we have to get out of the way – using phrases like “smash that fear” or “kick your fear to the curb” frequently.
Au contraire, mon ami.
When you do that, you’re trying to defeat the laws of physics – in turn defeating the plan laid out for you.
And your fear is part of that plan, part of the perfect trajectory of the path that’s laid out before you that’s taking you into your wildest dreams.
Kicking your fear to the curb will thwart your efforts in turning your dreams into a reality.
So what then? If fear is actually a part of your process in creating the life and business you desire, what the heck do you do with it when it arises?
Because if you simply don’t do anything, it will paralyze you – stopping you from moving forward and thwarting your expansion in an even more extreme way.
It’s quite simple, actually.
Understand fear for what it is – a resource or indicator that you’re on the right path.
Think about it – what comes up when the fear starts? What runs through your mind? Is it flashes of failure or wondering if you’ll lose the very thing you have?
What you’re about to do is, yes, a little scary! So fear is a part of the process. It aids in your growth. It will add to your expansion.
Allow fear as a part of your expansion.
Feel it as the simple feeling that it is.
Lean into it, giving it permission to point out all of the little cracks and crevices where you need to grow and shift to become the version of you that the very expansion that awaits you requires you to be.
Recognize that the way your life will look and feel when you achieve your dreams requires an upgraded version of you. A version of you that can embrace even more good in your life. One that embodies the qualities your dreams require.
Then surrender into your fear, allowing it to teach you what you need to learn, shift, embody, or acknowledge to become the creator and nurturer of the life you truly desire.
The following are steps to get you started on the road to using fear for its purpose:
1. Acknowledge your fear.
2. Develop a relationship with it.
3. Surrender into it (see our blog post on surrender if you’re not sure what we mean).
4. Let it move through you as the feeling it is (when you do this, it will dissipate).
5. Let it show you where you are ready to grow.
Are you willing to give fear permission to help you grow? Could you let it give you the direction, tools, and unlimited possibility that will help you carve out the path toward your dreams that your fear lovingly arose to support you with?
Watch how you can continue to make fear work for you with the video below:
I’d love to hear what unfolds for you as you develop a new way of relating to fear! Comment below to share your journey with us.
Life is always moving forward, and in that forward motion comes choices we make along the way.
The choices are endless:
What career path to take
Where to live
Whether to have children or not
Whether to take this path or that one
Learning this new skill or the other
The beach or the mountains
Vanilla or chocolate
Some choices leave room for you to return to them, to choose something new along the way. Others are chosen for you.
And many, if not most of your choices, once chosen, leave behind a plethora of other options – some of which may come back to haunt you or leave you wondering “what if.”
With choice comes the unfortunate reality that you can’t choose it all.
So when are the previously “closed doors” from our past choices really closed?Is it wise to return to a “what if” from past choices? When is okay to invite “what could have been” into present day life? And when do you know it’s too late?
The good news about your choices: It’s NEVER too late to glance back.
You might think, what about the choices that now leave imprints in your life that are unchangeable? For example, having children isn’t something you can go back on and choose otherwise. Even for those choices, there is still a door that awaits you.
You can go back and open the door to the parts of you, you previously thought lost.
That’s because it’s never about the choice itself. It’s about the feeling it would have brought you – the experience of an expression of you that you could have had if you had chosen A instead of B.
The choice that was already made may have left a lasting imprint of experience – but since when is experienceanything but beneficial?
Experiences – even seemingly awful ones – bring wisdom, awareness, and a deepened sense of self.Even the ones that seem to take you away from yourself ultimately bring you closer to you if you lean into the experience you have gained.
You may not be able to go back to the starting point before the first door was opened.
But there’s no hard and fast rule that says that, what was behind that door can’t be even better with experience, wisdom, and time.
So even if the exact door you left behind – the one that still has you wondering “what if” – can’t reappear or be reopened, the hope of the possibility and the expression of you that lies behind that very door can be there for you to walk through now.
Ask yourself the following:
What are the feelings you had hoped it would bring you?
What was the adventure behind that door?
What form of expansion or growth had you desired for it to create for you?
And once you have yourself grounded in what you were seeking, then you can explore what’s next:
What experiences lay ahead that could bring you those same feelings, adventures, growth, and expansion?
What parts of yourself will you have to pick back up, dust off, and embrace to open those new doors?
If fear stopped you from opening the door in the first place, what would it take for you to acknowledge and move through that fear today?
What will it take for you to be ready to embrace the courage to take the step you didn’t take, but have continued to wonder about?
You can never lose a part of yourself that’s an aspect of your true expression. And it’s never too late to experience a part of you that’s… well… you.
Life is full of possibility to take hold of in an embrace of any expression you choose. And though one choice may be lost in the moment you choose another, with the passing of time, new choice is always available to you.
So quit looking behind, and look ahead to the doors that hold the possibilities of the expression you desire now – and take advantage of the perfect activity we’ve created for you to do just that!
Want a week of transformation, expansion, and epic connections to build on this week’s blog post?! We’ve put together a mini-Sorcerer School to give you just that! Click here to sign up!
A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog post on how to let courageous transformation be easier than we think it’s supposed to be. And it feels like time to expand the conversation.
Because, chances are, there’s a part of you that simply doesn’t believe it can be easy.
Life is “supposed to be hard” and “anything we want comes with hard work.” These are beliefs that tend to be deeply ingrained in all of us. It’s humanity… or at least, it’s our society and what we’ve learned from generations upon generations of past examples.
And examples aren’t just examples. They become infused into our belief system over time.
So if we have all of this evidence that life is hard, how can expanding our possibility of what life can be for us be easier? Shouldn’t it be even harder by design?
Not exactly. The two are not mutually exclusive.
Yes, as we take on the practice of growing into the next (and next, and next) level version of ourselves, our experience of growing “being hard” will come up. Don’t get me wrong, it can seem hard sometimes.
But just because your current belief system tells you it’s hard, does not mean it actually is – or that it has to stay that way.
Everything around and within us is constantly changing. The best part about our ever-changing world? We get to choose whether we’re dying or becoming more alive in each moment.
With each shift we make, if we choose more life, our cells actually return more and more to their organic state of things being easy. Easier, I’m willing to promise, than any of us can even see in our current state of humanity.
But, if it’s so easy, why don’t we choose this?
Simply put, it’s because the only thing that’s lying between hard and easy is something we’ve been taught to avoid: feeling.
And that’s the thing about “hard.” Ultimately, it’s only a feeling. If we let it be.
Feeling doesn’t need to be difficult. Feeling, when allowed in our bodies, can actually be joyful (even when experiencing the pain).
So what’s left outside of the feeling? That’s where our choices begin. We choose the how and what our lives look like.
The only reason our transformation or expansion (of ourselves, our businesses/careers, our relationships, or anything we could ever desire) is ever “hard” is because our psyches have built-in protection mechanisms. They’ve gotten really good at holding us back.
However, we can easily “re-train” or re-program these processes – the same way you would a piece of equipment.
With each feeling we allow, we become lighter and lighter; we become more and more aligned with choosing what we actually desire, and less burdened with old habits our psyches think we need to protect ourselves.
And, while it’s always important to listen to our feelings, it’s not important to listen to the “can’t” and “don’t” and “ouch” of our psyches – at least not past the extent of acknowledging them.
That’s where the choice that’s always available to us comes into play.
We can choose to step into the possibility.
We can choose to allow the magic.
We can choose the light within us.
We can choose to return to our deepest knowing that we’re here to create and serve and fully experience life, and we can choose just that.
And each moment we do, we have the opportunity to start over again. To create and serve and experience anew.
Life isn’t stagnant, so yes, as you do this, “upper limits” will arise, and you will hit contractions that come up before its counterpart of expansion.
But whether all of this is easy or hard – that part is up to you.
I’d love to hear where you can let go of the perception of “hard” today and let it all be that much easier! xx
You’ve finally reached clarity. You know what you want and nothing can hold you back.
You make a plan and put everything you need in place to execute it perfectly.
And then you leap – into the next level, into expansion, into the greatness you’ve been craving and your vision has been asking for.
And it’s not long until you realize that your plan doesn’t mean crap next to the plans of life.
So you re-evaluate and re-route and keep moving forward. Until the new plan doesn’t seem to hold water next to Spirit’s plan or to the vast energy out there that seems to know something you don’t.
And that’s when you realize: uncertainty is the key ingredient to taking leaps.
When you choose expansion, the uncertainty of how you’re going to get there and exactly what it’s going to look like when you get there is truly the only certainty.
When you come to this realization, you have two routes to choose from…
The route of holding tight to whatever certainty you can conjure to hold your plans as close to you as possible.
Or the route of letting go of certainty and trusting that in not knowing what’s going to happen, the best possible outcome will take place.
It’s so easy for our fears to choose the former. But when we choose the latter, we’re opening ourselves up to magic.
Because there is magic in uncertainty.
It’s full of possibility – more possibility than our minds could have conceived of when we invented the “perfect plan.” And it’s led by guidance that can only come when we surrender to a deeper sense of knowing and a greater sense of guidance than our minds.
When it comes to that initial clarity we had of what we needed to do and that leap we took into the next level of our expansion, nothing can lead us to a better place than the deep knowing, the guidance available to us, the possibility, the magic, and, yes, the uncertainty.
It’s what takes us from clinging tight to what we expected, even when it’s not working, and leads us to surrendering into what’s available to us.
In the emptiness of surrender, the stillness and opening that awaits us can be filled with riches. But they’re not riches that our logical minds can conceive of or that our business skills can predict.
Our fears cannot navigate the map to the hidden treasure of uncertainty. Because the map is created by the imagination of the universe – and it’s far more creative than your fears can conjure.
And through that creativity and the imagination of the infinite come the best forms of expansion. It’s what leads us to our true visions, our greatest desires, and all it takes to achieve them.
The profit you’re aiming for, the next-level awesomeness of your creations and your vision, and the impact you desire to have on the planet… uncertainty is the only constant in getting there. And the imagination that is waiting to create the best roadmap possible to your treasure can only come in the space of uncertainty.
So how can you loosen the reins on your plans just a little bit more and surrender to the magic of not knowing? I’d love to hear in the comments below!
There’s a common misconception that holds us back from growing.
We set intentions for ourselves and instantly expect to watch them take hold in ways that look better. We believe that growth always means things are headed upward in our lives and improving.
We want our income to grow — so we expect to make more money right away.
We ask for better communication with loved ones — so we expect the next conversation we have to be easier than the last.
We want to build our careers or grow our businesses — so we think rising up is the only way to do that.
And that’s where we have it all wrong.
In order to expand, we have to contract first.
Look at your body as the perfect example of that. Your lungs, your diaphragm, your muscles – everything must contract before it expands.
So why do we expect the expansion of our lives – our dreams, our desires, our intentions – to be any different?
For starters, our egos play some pretty impressive tricks on us. They do their very best to keep us safe (in their perception of what “safe” is).
This means that we witness a shrinking, a falling down, a lack of something, and our bodies close in to try to protect us. A part of us that no longer serves us must “die off” so that we can experience more life, but our egos instantly have us convinced that something is wrong.
Except YOU’RE not dying. A piece of you is dying so that more of you can live.
Expansion is the process of opening ourselves up to having, being, and experiencing more in our lives (and our businesses), which makes the process of contraction before expansion simply a part of allowing more in.
Recognizing this, doesn’t it seem awfully silly that we set these resolutions or intentions for ourselves at the start of a new year and instantly expect things to go uphill?
If things start to suck after you set an intention for them to get better — lean into it. Don’t run from the parts that suck, because quite often they’re a huge part of what is actually needed for things to get better.
When we run from the contractions, we actually thwart the expansion process — slowing it down, and sometimes halting it all together. And at very minimum, it means that the lesson we needed to learn in order for the expansion to happen has to come in some other way — which means we’re not actually avoiding the contraction, just diverting it into a different format.
This means that not only can you cut yourself some slack for not having every intention or resolution you set at the start of 2016 taking form yet, but you can actually pat yourself on the back for the areas where things are getting worse before they can get better.
So look around at where the contractions are happening, and ask yourself whether they may be happening for the sake of that glorious, well-deserved expansion that’s coming your way.
I’d love to hear what your contractions-before-expansions are looking like this year! Share in the comments below so we can all be inspired by the real process of growth and expansion!