There’s no simple way to explain how it feels.
It’s this dis-ease in your body. Or perhaps it’s just a feeling that you have crawling through you that you just can’t quite put your finger on.
It’s well …uncomfortable.
Typically, nothing comes from our uncomfortable feelings because they’re dull aches that we been taught to ignore.
Our body is always trying to tell us things (you’ve definitely heard us say this more than once!), and being uncomfortable is one way to know that something is happening inside of you.
Uncomfortable feelings are a sign of misalignment or growth occurring in you.
So what do you do with that? How do you “get to the bottom of it”? While we won’t say this is the cookie cutter way to do it, we at MDS believe there is something so sacred about the experience of honoring your feelings.
- Be present to the uncomfortable feeling.
Most times, uncomfortable feelings show up in a subtle way. We tend to see them as underlying moments or feelings that may not present themselves as relevant, or something to pay attention to right away.Once you notice the uncomfortable feeling, try to wrap up whatever you’re doing. No need to RUSH to stop everything, but give yourself an opportunity to really acknowledge the uncomfortable feeling, something that can only be done effectively when you’re being present to it.
- When you’re present, what comes up?
Once you become present and you’re able to just really explore what that uncomfortable feeling is – what happens?Do you feel like crying? Laughing? Writing? Asking for a hug? Going for a walk to play Pokémon Go? (This has totally happened to me.)Just simply notice what is coming up for you and write it down, or make a mental note of it. There’s no reason to judge it or try to reason as to why you shouldn’t do those things yet (or ever, really). But we’re only in the step of becoming aware, of noticing the uncomfortable feeling and seeing what it’s all about; don’t rush yourself. Just sit with it.
- Finally, let it flow.
Once you’ve had an opportunity to really sit with that uncomfortable feeling, it’s likely that it fades or it flows into another feeling or action (so it fades).Once you move into this space, just let your feelings and body do what it will need. Whether that’s to relax, move, or simply fall asleep. Honor what your body needs and let it flow out.
In these moments where we acknowledge the uncomfortable feelings and let it all flow out, we often find exactly what we’ve been looking for.
Most times, we find magic that we didn’t even know we were looking for.
Next time you stumble upon an uncomfortable feeling, get a little curious – and if you feel called, share with us in our Soulful Brilliance community, a community for brilliant thinkers with deep souls.
When I was young, a lot of things came easily to me. I was a quick learner, a good writer, a thoughtful daughter/sister/friend, and an all-around adaptable person.
What did not come easily to me were some of the things I wanted most to learn. Riding a bike, swimming, and hula hooping. To me, these things looked like so much fun and so freeing!
My overprotective parents actually prevented me from learning to ride a bike or swim, so I was able to forgive myself for not being able to do them.
But hula hooping? Hours and hours of trying to get that right just led to more frustration. I couldn’t understand how something that seemed so easy could be so hard for me. I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. Eventually, I got older and forgot about it.
In my mid-twenties, I tried roller-skating for the first time. I had learned to rollerblade as a child (the one thing my parents allowed – but only because we could do it in the safety of our basement), and I figured it would be fairly easy. After all, everyone always said that rollerblading was harder!
Nope. Didn’t happen. Even the friendly, patient stranger who tried to teach me in a number of ways could not help me.
Again, I was so frustrated that something that seemed so fun just would not happen for me. What the heck was I doing wrong?!
I think that at some point I decided that anything that might bring me that much pleasure just wasn’t going to work out for me.
It could be easy for everyone else, but not for me.
That stuck with me for several years, until I decided that I just couldn’t keep living a life of constant struggle, sacrifice, and making things harder than they needed to be.
Now, ease and pleasure are my priority.
I learn from pleasure.
I preach pleasure and ease.
I have been called the pleasure queen, the pleasure sorceress, and the embodiment of ease.
And recently, as I decided to step into that even more deeply and in bigger, more visible ways (new offerings! finishing my book! who knows what else!), I was reminded of my failed attempts at hula hooping, roller-skating, and – eventually – riding a bike.
I couldn’t figure out what these experiences were meant to teach me.
Why would I co-create these failures? How come I still can’t ride a bike for longer than 45 seconds? What the fuck?!
As I reflected on these memories, I reconnected more deeply with my body until I was led to the answers. In a moment of harmony and integration between my body, mind, heart, and soul, clarity came in a flash.
They seem obvious now, but here are a few of the realizations I had:
- Being in my body requires greater presence than being in my head or even in my heart. All those things I’ve always been good at come naturally to me because I grew up being led by my head and my heart. When it came to doing something with my body, it required greater presence, and because I wasn’t used to that, I kept trying to think my way through it. You can’t think your way into your body! You must simply surrender into being in it.
- It is very easy to deny myself pleasure. Whether it’s the voice in my head saying, “You’ve had enough,” or the belief ingrained in me that I must suffer before looking or feeling good, there are so many opportunities for me to sidestep pleasure. This is true for so many people! It’s up to me to recognize when that’s happening and make a new choice.
- “What am I doing wrong?” is almost never the right question. It is the fast track to shame and regret. Switching to, “How can I make this easier, more pleasurable, or more fun?” is definitely the way to go. This gets me better results every time.
Of course, the way we relate to one issue is the way we relate to everything, and I’m happy to have dug a bit deeper into these as I embark on this new stage in my life and career.
And with this new awareness, I think I’m ready to give the hula hoop another try. It might still slip right away, but at least I’ll know I’m fully enjoying every second of it.
Hello! Allow me to introduce myself…
My name is Tara and I am 40. I’m an introverted, animal-loving, morbid, nonsensical, clumsy, whimsical, dorky, tree-hugging Pixie wannabe with a Gypsy heart… And I’m totally obsessed with The Walking Dead! I am a proud mom of a 22-year-old man (eeek!) and a happy wife of 6 years starting my life all over again.
Although I am grateful for meeting my husband and it was a big turning point in my life, it wasn’t the thing that changed my path for the better.
While I am grateful for my partner, I am equally grateful for the dark and twisted journey that brought me to where I am today.
From an early age, I found myself caught in the clutches of society, hating myself for not fitting its cookie-cutter expectations and for having my wings stripped from me. I got used to driving myself into exile for so long… and then, I grew increasingly ill over the last few years and found myself near death in 2015.
It was within the exile that I found liberation.
Getting sick felt like a good kick in the ass from the Universe that landed me on this path of self-discovery, Spiritual growth and purpose.
It’s not been an easy journey, learning to live with chronic illness.
At times, I feel as though all odds are stacked against me. For instance, my illness has prevented me from working for over a year now while simultaneously causing extra medical expenses to pile up. We have fallen into debt and the financial stress has been overwhelming.
Having a vision for the future with no idea how to get there is like living in a glass box – I can see, for the most part, what I need to do and where I need to go but I keep bumping into these walls!
I’ll get excited about an idea and set it into motion but then BOOM! The money’s not there. Or BOOM! I’m too sick.
It’s like each wall has its own reason for blocking me and I just can’t seem to find my way around these blocks… it can cause me to get very discouraged.
Enter Sorcerer School.
I met Jordanna Eyre about a year ago while I was still in recovery after multiple surgeries.
I came across her name on the internet and felt an immediate connection. I felt called to join Sorcerer School as soon as I learned about it, but financial fear and self-doubt held me back.
Even with financial struggles and doubts, on May 10, I took the leap and joined the Sorcerer School family. Since then, I have been learning to find my way out of my self-built glass box.
I have been detoxifying myself of all the emotions and self-loathing that had been holding me down.
I am letting go of the things that no longer serve me, embracing my darkness and daring to SHINE!
Realizing I am instrumental in helping others on a large scale and bringing valuable change to society, I have reclaimed my mighty wings and am embarking on a brand new journey, headed PeaceBound (my new business!), with love and gratitude in my wide-open heart.
I am super excited about this next year!
I’m excited about peeling back the layers to reveal my most authentic self, standing fiercely in my power, harnessing my magic and learning how to access my inner guidance to move towards my true purpose.
I’ve had a revelation and am putting it into motion:
Passions are attainable, magic is real and, with a new zest for life, I am strapping on these mighty wings!
With pockets full of bliss and Pixie Dust, I will conquer.
Reader’s Note: Last month I wrote about the difference between running away from and running closer to the truth. If you’re an active reader, consider this Part 2.
We each have our own attachments to certain things. On the surface, there seems to be no rhyme or reason as to why I tend to have trouble letting go of old content within the MDS walls, yet have no problem letting go of a place I’ve been living or an article of clothing that has reached its final days.
Have you noticed those things for yourself that are easy to let go of? What about those that, no matter how much you may tell yourself you’re not attached, you just can’t seem to say goodbye to?
The simplicity lies in the reason why.
What are you hoping to gain by keeping something or by walking away from it?
At the core of your answer to that question lies in one word: energy.
Not in the nebulous sense of everything being energy (though true, it’s not what we’re talking about here).
Instead, I’m talking about how that thing in your life makes you feel. The energy it carries contributes something to your life.
Though subtle, the presence of that thing has an effect on how you feel, whether that “thing” is a habit, pattern, relationship, or some other circumstance.
That feeling pours into other parts of your life – and that contribution is either helping you or hindering you. Think of a toxic relationship or job that seems to leave you in a bad mood even after you’ve ended a conversation or your workday.
So the next question: How do you know if it’s time to let go of something?
It comes back down to the energy. Even when you can trace the current energy of something to a negative effect in your life/business, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s time to let go of it because there might still be growth for you there.
Here are four ways to determine if it’s time to let go of something:
- Check in with yourself to explore why you’re creating this experience and why you’re feeling the need to let go.
- When you tune into the energy or feeling of your desired outcome, what is it? Freedom, pleasure, abundance, joy? Once you have identified it, see where else in your life you already experience that feeling and where you can infuse more of it into your life.
- If there are others involved in the situation, have an open discussion with them about what you’re seeing and feeling. Make sure you truly listen to them, remaining open to any and all feedback about where and how that energy is being created. Remember that everyone involved wants to feel good and be supportive!
- Explore what it could feel and look like to keep this thing in your life/biz and change other circumstances surrounding it. (For example, if the only reason you’re doing or not doing something is because of current financial circumstances, have you explored shifting your financial circumstances to give you more freedom of choice?) This helps you explore the many possibilities in your life in a way that’s fun and full of, “what if?”
If you have checked in with the items on this list and still feel it’s time to let go or walk away, then by all means YES. Do it.
I’m not encouraging copping out on your responsibility for how you create your life.
I’m encouraging you to take an active role as the creator of your experience – and that means an open willingness to dance with the energy of what is.
To continue this discussion, watch the video on whether or not your pushing something away or it’s time to let go below.
We’d love to hear your thoughts on what you’re contemplating letting go of – come join us in our FREE Soulful Brilliance Facebook Group to share your experience and receive love and support.
When you’ve got a lot swirling around in your body – in both your heart and mind – it can feel amazing.
In complete and utter alignment with everything you’ve ever wanted.
The thing about naturally thinking before feeling is that, we tend to judge the feelings that course through us.
As that judgment takes place, our minds tend to pick apart the feelings:
- “That’s weird, why are you feeling that way?”
- “Cry to feel better? Doesn’t sound normal. Crying doesn’t feel good. You shouldn’t do that.”
- “Maybe you should just get over it, it’s not that big of a deal.”
Recognize a bit of that judgment?
That ever-familiar voice that seems to shoot down every time you try to feel too much?
That voice in your mind is just a little scared; your mind sure can say some really cruel things when you’re trying to listen to your intuition.
Rest assured, that’s just your mind trying to protect you – so try to forgive it!
But how can you get your mind on board to lean into the intuition as an ally, rather than something you need to protect it from?
Two very simple concepts:
1. Remember to breathe!
Often when we’re scared, we’re in fight or flight mode. Our brain is trying to figure out how to survive because it senses danger. This shuts off your most basic common sense functions, because you’re in survival mode and your brain can’t access the logic to play with your intuition.
Take a few deep breaths. You’ll help bring the panic and heart rate down, allowing you access to your frontal lobe again – and the ability to talk to yourself and your intuition with a little more kindness!
2. Let your mind and intuition converse.
While this will take some time, your mind and intuition can be great allies in all tough decisions and general life assessments. If there is an argument brewing, practice step #1 then simply let the two of them hash it out in a polite debate.
Hear the pros and cons of either side. Let them come to a conclusion and/or agreement together, peacefully. You’ll be amazed at what your mind and intuition can create together.
This process takes practice, so don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get it right every time!
Keep coming back to this article on the days you’re struggling and repeat these steps.
You’ll begin developing dialogue within your body, and you’ll start embracing the magic that you are – just give yourself time.
No need to rush, there’s beauty in where you’re at right now.
Isaac Newton said, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.”
For every contraction that takes place within us, an equal amount of expansion is trying to happen.
Look at your body and its way of contracting to create expansion and expanding to creating contraction. It’s one of the simplest laws of physics.
So then why do we humans work so hard at squelching our fear?
We believe that fear is something we have to get out of the way – using phrases like “smash that fear” or “kick your fear to the curb” frequently.
Au contraire, mon ami.
When you do that, you’re trying to defeat the laws of physics – in turn defeating the plan laid out for you.
And your fear is part of that plan, part of the perfect trajectory of the path that’s laid out before you that’s taking you into your wildest dreams.
Kicking your fear to the curb will thwart your efforts in turning your dreams into a reality.
So what then? If fear is actually a part of your process in creating the life and business you desire, what the heck do you do with it when it arises?
Because if you simply don’t do anything, it will paralyze you – stopping you from moving forward and thwarting your expansion in an even more extreme way.
It’s quite simple, actually.
Understand fear for what it is – a resource or indicator that you’re on the right path.
Think about it – what comes up when the fear starts? What runs through your mind? Is it flashes of failure or wondering if you’ll lose the very thing you have?
What you’re about to do is, yes, a little scary! So fear is a part of the process. It aids in your growth. It will add to your expansion.
Allow fear as a part of your expansion.
Feel it as the simple feeling that it is.
Lean into it, giving it permission to point out all of the little cracks and crevices where you need to grow and shift to become the version of you that the very expansion that awaits you requires you to be.
Recognize that the way your life will look and feel when you achieve your dreams requires an upgraded version of you. A version of you that can embrace even more good in your life. One that embodies the qualities your dreams require.
Then surrender into your fear, allowing it to teach you what you need to learn, shift, embody, or acknowledge to become the creator and nurturer of the life you truly desire.
The following are steps to get you started on the road to using fear for its purpose:
1. Acknowledge your fear.
2. Develop a relationship with it.
3. Surrender into it (see our blog post on surrender if you’re not sure what we mean).
4. Let it move through you as the feeling it is (when you do this, it will dissipate).
5. Let it show you where you are ready to grow.
Are you willing to give fear permission to help you grow? Could you let it give you the direction, tools, and unlimited possibility that will help you carve out the path toward your dreams that your fear lovingly arose to support you with?
Watch how you can continue to make fear work for you with the video below:
I’d love to hear what unfolds for you as you develop a new way of relating to fear! Comment below to share your journey with us.