Hi there! I’m Marrissa, Modern Day Sorcerer’s marketing gal. While that is my title, I do a little bit of everything, as I’m a multi-passionate being!
I’ve been with the team for a little over two years – and when I met Jordanna, it was like a bundle of joy and overwhelm at the same time.
I was raised Catholic, but brought into a family of mostly agnostic beings. So coming into a relationship with a brand new person who was so outwardly spiritual? It wasn’t hard, but it was definitely new. And for a girl who’s always been really big on needing tangible definitions, for some reason, I didn’t find myself uncomfortable.
I just found myself … curious.
To give you some background, I’ve always been the “black sheep” of the family (I mean, with 4 brothers, it’s not hard to be someone who stands out). Add to that, being someone who contemplated deep thoughts for a 13-year-old, I always had a “gut feeling” I was meant to do something big in the world.
You know which feeling I’m talking about, right? The feeling that you’re “special” or like something is brewing inside of you that’s just inexplicable.
Well, it’s something I’ve been contemplating over the last few years. So at this weekend’s retreat, I crashed into “trust” and “doubt.”
I went into this weekend with no expectations, as it was my very first “spiritual retreat.” I entered nervously into the house and felt a sense of calm immediately settle into me as my business family seemed to circle with excitement and love.
What ensued from there is really, really hard to put into words, and as somebody with doubts that there is anything tangible in spirituality, that was tough for me to settle into.
As I went through the weekend, I found myself delving into places of my heart and soul I hadn’t touched in decades, since I was 6 or 7. These swimming energies, voices, and dreams pushed at my barriers of “reality.”
I found my head, for once, quieter than it had been in years. There was a sense of peace. There was a sense of confidence, tolerance, and complete and utter acceptance.
Over the last few years, from romantic relationships to business mistakes and adventures, I’ve been slowly cracking open a curiosity that has dwelled inside of me since my birth: What is this more thing? What are coincidences? What is all this religion and esoteric mumbo jumbo?
And most of all, how do I find myself gravitating towards something intangible when I have made it my job to be the most rooted, “in the know” person in the place?
How do I – more and more – find myself being a part of an intangible foundation? And how could it possibly be feeling more secure and real than the things I can physically touch and feel?
After a plethora of thoughts, emotions, and general soul-searching over the weekend, I just want to say, I finally get it.
Spirituality isn’t a required cult you have to join; we have an infinite number of options from religion to names of Gods.
And I’m a big fan of setting my own path on my own journey.
So here’s what I learned about myself, my life + business, and how spirituality can make a difference for me:
- If you’re looking for one, tangible fact that you can cling to – don’t. Spirituality is not the type of finite thing you can control, nor do you want to. I get the best results from putting in time, energy, and intention, then letting go of what I cannot control.
- I don’t really need a name for the “God” or thing. As a writer, I tend to get really hung up on words and their usage. If something doesn’t resonate for me, it doesn’t matter. It’s just the concept I need to understand.
- It doesn’t matter how spiritual I am… or am not. I’m beginning to realize there isn’t “a certain way” to do it. What matters is what feels good in your body and soul – whatever that means for me is okay.
- My business is really a reflection of the good I want to do in the world. One of the reasons I crashed and burned is because I lost sight of why I was doing this thing. I want to change lives on a small scale.
- I can use my spirituality – my purpose, as we so often like to call it – as a vessel for my business. To be honest, this was the hardest thing to wrap my head around, because business is tangible. But I already run my business from a heart-centered place: I’m on a mission to spread love in the world via writing + organic connections (marketing!). I didn’t get these ideas by watching others, I birthed them from my own beliefs and desires. No amount of perfect marketing has made me successful; what’s made me a lot of money is giving a shit about the people I work with – from my heart.
There’s a lot more – but these are the big ones.
And what’s the most vital takeaway? How I use “spirituality” (or whatever you want to call it) in my life may be much different than how you use yours.
Spirituality is like Play-Doh: you can form it to whatever you need. Whatever you call it is up to you. The most important part is that you follow your instinct. Your calling. The feelings that seem so ingrained in you that living differently might destroy you from the inside out.
Don’t let your head talk you out of what feels good to you, whether that’s spirituality all the time or deciding it’s not your jam.
Just take a dip… It might feel nice.