I was born with a knowing deep inside of my bones. The stubbornness of which caused me to protect myself, as much as I yearned to let the power of my big heart out into the open.
I felt more than I could handle. And my mind overwhelmed me with the complexities of the world.
I had a drive to serve and a depth that conflicted with the world around me. As a childhood actress, I reveled in big expression, but it seemed that if I were to allow all of the expression possible to move through me, I might explode. As the daughter of an Ivy League educated businessman, I craved my own version of success far different from the examples I was given; my inner knowing rejecting the oppressive examples of the false power I had been taught were the keys to success.
I began facilitating groups and working in social services at the age of 13. By 15 I was on the streets as an intern, learning, and loving, the full spectrum of humanity. In what the world deemed “mental-illness”, I saw brilliance. Yet also I yearned for my own brilliance to co-mingle with the superficial power of the world. I saw power as the expansive capacity we each have to bring love and integrity through, as instruments of something bigger than us. And I craved opportunity to bring the truth I could see about power through the hearts and bellies of each of us.
I struggled with addiction and emotional eating having its hold on me for years, in what seemed like an endless loop to unravel the existential angst underneath it. After unfulfilling attempts to get help from a handful of therapists who couldn’t handle my deep questions, I learned that the path to overcome self-sabotage lied not in any book or teaching outside of me, but in the wisdom of my own DNA.
My desire for something bigger led me into a master’s in broadcast journalism, where I was met by professors with big names who openly shared their interest in supporting my charisma in going places. That is, until they learned what I stood for, and support turned into disdain. I went back to social work, committed to finding a way to make an impact with integrity.
By my mid-twenties, I could no longer bear the weight of the oversimplified resolutions the nonprofit world used for complex issues. My next transition into a bilingual teaching credential, with a classroom of my own in the blink of an eye, left me just as unfulfilled. My inner knowing could no longer bear being part of a system that subdued the innate expression of any single human being.
My soul helped me weave of all of those versions, into one infinite expression that would grant me the freedom, fulfillment, and expansion I desired.
A methodology powerful enough to hold the infinite expression of each person and each vision it would serve, and wise enough to nurture the unique purpose of each person it would touch.
In 2006 I dove head first into entrepreneurship. In 2008 I found myself in a new city alone, as the promised support of $2.5M in investment slipped through my fingers with a market crash. I kept going, as turmoils from the outside world battled my desires for big vision. My inner world wavered between pits of despair, and the pull of a vision that kept on choosing me, whether I felt worthy of it or not.
In the midst of it all I was receiving countless nudges from life to become a coach. When coaches from the highest level certification programs started telling me they were blown away by my work, I surrendered further to the calling. I went on to found and own two successful coaching and workshop companies.
Eventually I understood that the power I’d felt moving through me from such a young age, was moving through my work in support of my clients, bringing them home to a power that was still quite a mystery to me.
In 2013, I remembered. The sorceress I’d always been swept in to remind me who I was at my core. Instead of the historical myths of who the world believed her to be, she showed me that who she is, and has always been, is within each of us. I committed myself to becoming her. The integrity, courage, and power I felt in her, began to guide me.
Around the world I followed guidance from something much greater than me, as it weaved itself through each step I took. In a four year journey through Italy, Thailand, Peru, New Zealand, Panama, Morocco, Senegal, and South Africa, I was guided back home to a power that reflected itself in each element of the world and its people.
The mystery of Creation revealed itself. My own personal dance with Creation activated in the growing power I was guided to cultivate within myself, and in the body of work I was learning to hold. The distance between the power I’d always felt within and experiencing it in the outside world decreased, as alchemy dissolved the space between what I knew possible, and what truly was.
As I became her, and began to understand who the Sorcerer/Sorceress is in others, I witnessed exponential transformation for my clients. Modern Day Sorcerer and Sorcerer School birthed through my work organically, having been within me all along. Even with decades of teaching, facilitation and coaching experience under my belt when I founded MDS, how the work has grown me as a facilitator and human being is profound.
Building a business that embodies the principles of its own vision throughout every stage of growth was, and still is, a process of becoming. And becoming the vision of the work that I hold has been a process of surrender and choice, melted together to create something more powerful than myself.
Over the years, as I healed my relationship with the vastness of the cosmos within myself, what I found within it astonished and delighted me. The vastness held a body of work far greater than myself. One that has the expanded, yet grounded capacity to hold your big, necessary questions, and ground your ever-increasing knowing in them. A methodology that alchemizes your deepest knowing into creation of the higher calling you know you’re here to carry out.