3 Ways to Get the Magic Powers You Were Always Intended to Have

3 Ways to Get the Magic Powers You Were Always Intended to Have

I recall the moment when my older brother was in the attic playing on the Ouija board with his friends. And BAM there was an explosion.

Needless to say my mother, and all of us in the home, were frightened.

How did they get those magic powers to cause that?! Or were they just playing a joke on my mom? The latter is the far more likely, knowing my clown of a brother.

Bad joke, dear brother.

I didn’t really understand what was so strange about asking ourselves how to get magic powers as a form of play. Something felt off, but I didn’t know why… And now, it all makes sense to me.

Does magic really exist in the world? Is magic real? Does it work?

Absolutely it does. But not as many see it. And not for the reasons many see it.

How do we get magic powers? Let’s look at 3 ways, while also debunking the myths of magic.

1. Understand that it’s not about getting anything.

Asking ourselves how to get magic powers is counterproductive to the very question itself.

The question provokes separation. It puts a divide between ourselves and what’s outside of us. It insists that there’s something we must “get”, and that those powers we desire are outside of ourselves.

We can get a job, a car, a date, or a business deal. And though there’s nothing wrong with getting any of those things. They can, in fact, feel quite magical.

Yet someone who is asking themselves how to get magic powers is likely looking for much more than that.

We’ve been taught from movies, from fairy tales, from video games, and culture that having magic powers means conjuring something up just because we decide we want it.

Magic, however, doesn’t respond to want.

Magic comes from the soul of the Universe. The heart of God itself.
…or Source/Spirit/the Force — whatever you choose to call that greater energy.

We don’t just get God.

We get to know it. In getting to know it, it asks us to become it.

We can’t ask ourselves how to get magic powers. We can only ask ourselves how to become that which lies at the core of them.

Imagine a friend wanted something from you. Would you be more likely to respond to insistence that you give it to them? Or to a genuine display of love that has you wanting to offer up your support?

Magic is like that. We don’t get magic powers — we open to them.

We dissolve into the love available to us. We become that love. And magic, in turn, flows through us.

Magic wants us to feel free. And the fear and manipulation that people have been taught is “magic” is anything but freedom invoking.

Freedom and love go hand in hand. One creates the other, and vice versa.

2. Redefine magic to learn what it responds to.

Imagine now that that same friend who wanted something from you, approached you for something without much of a conversation. They just came and tried to take. No conversation at all. How would you feel in that situation?

Magic doesn’t come from manipulation. It is a gift from the Universe itself.

Being a part of the Universe is a conversation.

In fact, we’re always in conversation with the Universe, whether we know it or not.

How to “get” magic powers is about bigger questions.

Magic responds to much fuller, bigger questions than most of us have been taught to ask.

It responds to honoring the Divine; to honoring the Self and our inner world of the Divine.

None of those things comes with want, nor manipulation, nor force.

Getting to know the God within is a dance between pure and total surrender, and deeply rooted choice. This kind of choice doesn’t come from insistence, from coercion, or demand. It comes from knowing oneself as that.

It’s about embodiment — having a personal life, a business life, and a sense of oneself in every step that is deeply humbled by, and surrendered to the Divine. From that space, the choice to create is one of love.

Okay then… So if magic isn’t what we’ve been taught, then what is possible in the world of magic?

How do people have magic, then? Let’s move on to tip number 3.

3. Redefine your role as a creator.

There’s a yearning inside of each of us to create. It’s undeniable.

It has us wanting to create businesses, to serve the planet, to have children, to create a home or travel the world, to express ourselves, and to revel in our sexuality.

History, social conditioning, and religious dogma have taught us to suppress our yearning.

We were taught that pleasure was wrong, and that acting upon our desires, even worse.

Yet our truest, deepest desires, are an act of Creation, itself.

Creation is always moving through us, beckoning us to interact with it to create a better world.

Knowing oneself as a creator is not wrong. It is our birthright.

We’ve been taught to shame ourselves, and our desires, for knowing ourselves as creators. That holding the same power to create as creation itself would be blasphemy.

Knowing our power to create is not blasphemy. And harnessing that power to create is not about force or manipulation.

It is, in fact, one of the most humbling journeys there is.

So why have we been taught that magic is about casting spells, or a version of “witchcraft” steeped in control or manipulation?

Because of that very shame around knowing ourselves as creators.

When I was a kid I was one of the lucky ones. My mom was trusting of me. The boundaries she set around what I could and couldn’t do gave me just enough freedom to safely explore my own boundaries. I had no need to rebel, because I didn’t feel constraint.

Control or constraint from imposed societal conditioning causes fear within us. Fear creates separation. Therefore, it comes as no surprise that this mystery of our divine birthright has been skewed to be made into something so separate.

The fear our divine birthright itself has caused the seeking of it to become so manipulative, so outwardly focused, and so surface.

History and society have dumbed down the concept of how to get magic powers — teaching us that knowing ourselves as creators is about manifesting things outside of us, rather than opening to the infinite within ourselves.

When we’re honest with ourselves about these magic powers we truly desire, and why we desire them, most of us realize that this desire to create runs much deeper than the outside world.

What if the kid in the basement trying to get magic powers is really just yearning to know her/himself as so much more than what society has taught him/her?

What if underneath each effort to cast a spell, someone is really just yearning to feel the miraculous support of creation moving through their desires?

That, my friends, is magic.

The Irony of Fear and Magic

Humans tend to fear that which we don’t know. And yet, because magic is simply a conversation with God, and the God within, will we ever know it in an absolute sense? Not likely.

We can get to know it. We can develop a relationship with it. We can enter an ever-deepening conversation with it.

We can get answers. And if we’re asking the questions we really desire to be asking, they’ll lead us to more questions.

And more answers. And then more questions.

The power we have to create comes from developing a relationship with the mystery of Creation itself — i.e. the unknown.

Magic is about creation, and creation is meant to remain — no matter how much more and more begins to be understood — a never-ending mystery.

Supernatural powers are meant to be honored for their mystery. And with each deepening into an understanding of the mystery that’s possible as we grow in our access to our magic powers, we are meant to soften just as much into more of that mystery itself.

A constant ebb and flow. A continuous dance between surrender and choice.

And instead of asking how, we ask ourselves questions beyond our comprehension. We open to the knowing, and the not knowing, and the dance between the two.

When we allow ourselves to soften into a space of not knowing, we find the emptiness of the void.

The void within not knowing brings us to a clarity that’s far more powerful than self-created clarity.

We can take a more rooted stance with our creations, activating more of the flow of creation itself when we allow our stance to be steeped with humility.

Because the very reason we all have these magic powers themselves is because of a unique expression each of us is here to be, and to bring forth in the world.

Your unique expression is a dance in magic. And finding it is a path into the unknown.

I never asked myself how to get magical powers. They began to move through me when it was time. And it became time when I began to surrender my ego to my desires.

To learn more about accessing this magic within yourself, I invite you to explore what Sorcerer School has to offer.

What If Your Life’s Work Is Done?

What If Your Life’s Work Is Done?

A few weeks ago, I was in the midst of saying goodbye to my business, as I had known it. It wasn’t the first time my business went through an evolution, but it felt different this time. I had to burn it to the ground to allow the soul of my business to rest and be reborn as something completely different.

As I was preparing for a sacred ceremony to do just that, there was a clear and consistent message that kept coming through for days:

What if you have already completed your life’s purpose? What if you have already left behind your legacy? What if now, your only responsibility is to simply enjoy life?

This confused me at first. Surely, my life’s purpose wasn’t complete because I was still alive… Right?

I sat with this message and allowed myself to truly feel it and truly believe it rather than try to make sense of it.

You know that feeling when you’re working diligently towards a deadline and find yourself finishing a day or two earlier than you expected?

Suddenly, you have all this delicious time to relax and nap and watch TV and go to the beach and bask in the glory of a job well done.

When I allowed myself to receive this message as Truth, my life instantly felt like that… times 10.

All around me, I could see opportunities for more joy, more fulfillment, and so much more fun. I could also see things that I was simply tolerating or settling for because I thought it was what I needed to do to work towards my purpose. I realized then how much I was still buying into the need to make sacrifices to fulfill my purpose and do my life’s work.

As I shared this new awareness with people, some were confused. “So what is your legacy? What was your life’s purpose?”

Their questions were ones I had asked and received answers to:

I don’t know what my legacy is. My life’s purpose might have been my business, or maybe it was a conversation I had with a client about learning from pleasure. It could be a question I asked in a podcast episode that quantum leaped a complete stranger into a new reality, one where her work will now improve millions of lives.

The thing is, it doesn’t matter what our purpose is.  

It only matters that we live our lives fully, with delight and pleasure and a fierce commitment to our truest soul expression.

And yeah, maybe I haven’t actually completed my purpose yet, but if that’s the case, it’s only because I need to really integrate this new reality – I need to make “enjoy life” my only to do list item every single day.

It’s liberating and energizing, and I’ve never been happier to be alive.

So I invite you to consider this for yourself.

What changes for you if you’ve already left behind your legacy? If nothing matters from now on except for enjoying your life and really living it, what does that mean for you?

Does it mean setting aside your work, or diving into it with greater abandon? Does it mean letting go of your morning ritual, or starting every day with a Kundalini meditation?

I’d love to hear what comes up for you in the comments!

Allowing Our Hearts to Be Imprinted By What Is Different From Us

Allowing Our Hearts to Be Imprinted By What Is Different From Us

When people hear I travel full-time, they often ask questions about how various cultures have grown me. I’m a people person and have always identified with other cultures — able to see myself in each person who appeared different from me on the outside.

But it’s not the cultures that have grown me the most through my travels — it’s the lands.

Each country I spend time in leaves me with a new imprinting. It teaches me something and leaves remnants of its innate truth in my heart for me to take with me. As I continue in my journey, I find myself forever changed by what each place gave me — not in tangible ways we perceive of culture or the beauty of a physical landscape, but in what it adds to my heart; how it teaches me to love in a new way that only that land knows.

The people of a country are shaped by the land; the land is shaped by the people.

I spent the last three weeks in Senegal. Immediately upon landing, during the few hours I spent at the airport cafe waiting for a friend, I experienced a peace that could be seen in the hearts of those I encountered.

Even through the numerous marriage proposals I received from men at the coffee shop (followed by one from my cab driver who admitted to my male friend that he already had three wives and wanted me to be his fourth), I could feel a peace. Sure, there was fear causing them to think that they were in love with a woman they’d just met (and all of the other women they inevitably thought the same thing about prior to me) — but there was also a sense of peace in them that I wasn’t yet able to put my finger on, but cherished from the moment I arrived.

Two days later, I went out for a run on the beach. Having spent time in a Muslim country that was more conservative than this one, I felt completely comfortable wearing just a tank top and shorts (desperate for some vitamin D after spending months in a cold climate). On my return home, I was confronted by two men in a car “You can’t do that!!!!” I thought they were talking about running on the road instead of the sidewalk, but soon realized they were talking about what I was wearing. And they were angry. I continued anyway and was greeted by two other men who insisted that I not to listen to them, that this country was about love and I could do anything I wanted. Those two men were followed by countless bystanders wanting to reassure me of the same thing. I felt so loved. Their desire to have me feeling held in the love I was starting to notice as part of this land was heartwarming.

Every interaction I had seemed to be filled with a sweetness. People on the street would stop to talk with me and walk me to where I was going without wanting anything in return — not to try to sell me something or hit on me.

I found my way into the salsa dancing community through a friend I’d met, and it gave me further insight into the land.

Though I hail from liberal parts of the United States, there is still a separation that is witnessed among race. Though it may have initially been caused by white people fearing those who weren’t “like them” and using their false sense of power to exclude those of other skin colors (and in some places still is), today there seems to be just as much exclusion of race by those who used to be the ones being excluded.

Fear begets fear, and it becomes instilled in a culture. But like I said, the culture shapes the land, and the land shapes the people.

What I noticed in the dance community in Senegal, was that though the predominant skin color was black, the diversity in Dakar felt different. It was an indescribable feeling of unity, of oneness, of “I trust you because you are me.” 

And despite two primary languages being spoken there, songs from many other languages were just as popular on the dance floor.

Because the land hadn’t been shaped by the fear of invaders trying to overtake it (or at least not as much as many other countries in the world), the primary race wasn’t fearful of the other races. They held a confidence in themselves that is a true embodiment of “I am enough,” and through that, an openness to anyone that was different than them was felt — not as open to differences, but as, “ultimately, we’re all the same.”

The feeling was most palpable the days I would run by the busy street next to the ocean. The joy on the faces of the boys out playing happily, their open hearts leaping through their gleeful smiles as we met eyes each time. The happy comments from the street vendors selling to the cars who had nice things to say even before they got used to me running by. The homeless men who exuded as much happiness doing their thing as anyone else I ran by.

It wasn’t about race, it was about the heart that we all share. And yet, there was something in this land that found differences to be the same — something that in a way seemed to have nothing to do with race, and yet I couldn’t help but notice race being a part of. But this time, it was in a way where what I’d seen elsewhere in the world flipped itself inside out. This time, race created unity instead of separation.

As I left the land of Senegal and made my way to South Africa, it became even more obvious to me just how much the love I felt in Senegal did have something to do with our differences showing us we’re the same. Though I’m also in love with this land, there is an air of separation here felt from the days of apartheid that’s hard to put into words. (More on this in a future blog post!) At a mostly black bar in South Africa, I felt slightly judged. At a mostly black bar in Senegal, I felt like just me.

And then there’s fact that at the end of the day it has nothing to do with race, and everything to do with where we, as a planet, have created ways to fuel our fears of “not enough,” fighting fear with fear.

As much as I would have told you before entering Senegal that I saw only love in each new person I met, and as much as it was true, there is a new way of seeing love that infused itself into my heart during my short time there.

It happened not through what I was shown — no matter where we live, we’re shown new things all the time. It happened through the time I spent in the land, and how the love it was soaked in, and the love it soaks people in, has a way of sinking into your heart and changing its very imprinting.

And though I’m clear it was Senegal itself (as were the many other people from other lands I met who live there because of the same, mostly indescribable feeling), it has me wondering — what if that deeper imprinting of love in the heart that is possible in this land, were possible through every experience and interaction we have that’s different?

What if in every experience of different we have, we can both embrace the newness, and feel safe in the ultimate sameness?

It starts within ourselves — by knowing we are enough, by knowing just how very loved we are.

But I’d love to hear from YOU and your own deep knowing. What else do you see possible in re-imprinting our individual and collective hearts as a planet to find our ultimate truth of absolute uniqueness and absolute oneness?

Why Is It So Hard to Surrender? (Part 2)

Why Is It So Hard to Surrender? (Part 2)

A couple of weeks, we talked all about surrender, which is perhaps the most life-changing tool for growth and the most impactful tool for business I have ever found.

It’s also the hardest state to achieve.

In our last blog post, I also shared the first two steps in getting through the resistance and finding new levels of surrender. (If you haven’t checked that out yet, you may want to give it a read here. As a quick reminder, the first two steps were acknowledging the resistance and being with the resistance.)

With that foundation in place, let’s dive into the final four steps.

3. Create time and space.

Though just “being” with the resistance often means doing nothing, there are things we can consciously do to support the resistance in running its course, allowing our bodies and minds to feel ready for the shift to happen.

Clear out your schedule as much as possible, when at all possible. Trust that things will be taken care of by the support around you (even if you are feeling unsupported in the moment, trust that the Universe has your back on the timing of the shift that’s ready to take place). And trust that whatever you need to do will be better done once the shift has taken place. True shifts need time and space to surrender into, so do whatever is required to create that time and space.

4. Choose whatever softens you.

Once your schedule is cleared as much as possible, make choices that bring softening (that, similar to step number 2, allow you to be with the resistance).

The more softening that can be created within you and your environment, the safer your body and mind will begin to feel to make room for surrender.

Begin to notice the difference between how something makes you feel. If you feel tension develop in your body or you have to “think” about things, it is probably acting against the softening. Choose actions, behaviors, and even thoughts that help you to feel softer and softer. This also means that if you notice yourself trying to analyze or “understand” what is happening, you can ask your mind to calm, let go of the thoughts, and choose something that supports the thoughts in dissipating into nothingness — maybe some calm physical activity like stretching, getting out into nature, or watching a movie.

5. When necessary, light a proverbial fire to catalyze the feelings.

When you’ve created enough softening in your body and mind, you’ll organically want to come out of full stillness and into new stages of deepening into the shift that’s asking to take place. This may come as a feeling of despair, or it could simply feel like feeling done with Netflix and ready to actually “do something” with the shift at hand.

This does not look like trying to consciously understand it, but like preparing yourself to go all the way in to the “death” process at hand.

This could be done through journaling that takes you into the feelings themselves. (Note, however, that there is a difference between journaling monkey-minded thoughts and journaling to take yourself down the rabbit hole that will create more feeling — this is a fine line to walk and an edge that must be found through exploration.) Alternatively, it could be done by listening to music that helps catalyze the feelings to be felt. Or it could be done through “channeling” a message that will take you deeper, or calling upon your guides to work on you to bring you deeper in.

There are so many ways to help instigate the state of feeling that will lead you to surrender. What’s important here is that whatever you choose to “do” intuitively feels like it will bring you deeper down the feeling spiral and into the feeling itself.

6. Relax into the feelings and let them flow.

Once the feeling begins, allow yourself to soften into it more, and more, and more, and more. As if you were laying back in a comfortable, cushy bean bag chair, surrounded by all of the love in the Universe, lean back into it with every element of feeling in your body.

As you lean back in this way, let the feeling take you under. This is a practice that will be developed more with time. It cannot be forced, but only allowed with the trust of the feeling itself. You’ll know when you’re there: it feels like something else has taken over for you and is leading you down a path of deeper consciousness than the mind could know. But don’t worry about getting there — simply continue to lean into it and open up to the feeling until you’re taken under.

Once you’re taken under, the rest will be done by Source/your higher self. You may have epiphanies, awakenings, inspiration — but continue to allow yourself to remain in the state of surrender. Much of what’s happening in this state is a cellular level shift that will result in new levels of embodiment that won’t require the epiphany had during this state to be written down or even cognitively remembered; it will now be integrated within the cells of your body and will come out naturally.

Surrender is truly the hardest state to get to, but the practice of it is worth its weight in gold, and then some. Consider all of the things you’ve been wanting, all of the next-level places you’re desiring in your business, your vision and mission, your relationships, your wealth, your life. All of these things will come the easiest through new levels of embodiment — and embodiment that is only possible through cellular level shifts that can come through the practice of surrender.

For more awareness of what surrender feels like, I’ve created a video on our YouTube channel just for you! Remember to subscribe to the Modern Day Sorcerer YouTube channel to receive this video, and new ones every Friday!

What is one thing you can do to allow a softening in your path to surrender today? We’d love to hear in the comments below!

Why Is It So Hard to Surrender? (Part 1)

Why Is It So Hard to Surrender? (Part 1)

One of the most common questions I receive from people is, “But how do you surrender?!

We talk about surrender as one of the greatest solutions to both our material and existential problems. And it is! But it’s also the hardest state to truly achieve.

And if we’ve never achieved it (and it’s one of those things that you can’t know until you get there), it can be just as challenging to understand why it’s so important for us.

Surrender can change the state of embodiment of how we are able to show up as leaders. It can guide us into decisions for our businesses or lives we never would have known needed to be made without it. And it can show us paths and roads to take on our greater path that we never would have been able to see with the naked eye.

And the biggest conundrum of this blog post itself — even for those of us who have experienced surrender and its benefits deeply, it can be challenging to put into words what it’s like, let alone how to get there.

Because the state of true surrender is beyond words.

It’s a state of such deep allowing that the all-ness of everything — Source, your higher self, all of the energy of all that is — takes over and shows you the way. It may show you through feelings that flow through you clearing you out. It may show you through insights that could never be found with the usual “thought state” of our minds. It may show you through feelings that lead you to awareness that is beyond anything you’ve ever known.

However this all-ness chooses to move through you, surrender will bring you beyond typical states of consciousness and into a wisdom that is greater than anything we can experience when living in the traditional human paradigm.

And even better — surrender is not about floating up in the clouds in more traditional “spiritual” states. True surrender will take you under and through the tunnels of death into rebirth and growth into wisdom, faster than anything we could experience by trying to create that same growth (even with application of the millions of tools for growth out there, which are all fabulous – surrender works at light speed in comparison).

True surrender will move you through the cellular-level shifts in a manner and at a pace that is beyond what our minds can comprehend, and will bring you to the states of inspiration, clarity, readiness, courage, and motivation to step into the impact you’ve been seeking (even specifying what steps to take), but cannot find in any other way.

As we progress on our growth path, our minds start to develop conscious constructs for various aspects of growth. For example, “allowing,” “surrender,” “receiving,” “embodiment,” “balance” — the list goes on. The human condition wants us to consciously understand things first, and so we might believe we understand despite never having actually experienced each thing at its truest level. And add to this the recognition that we don’t know until we know… and it can make the idea of something like surrender even more challenging to find.

When we think we understand something, but it is only on the thought level, our bodies and minds find even more subconscious reason to resist what’s beneath the cognitive understanding.

Then, add in the fact that surrender is a state of feeling, and how challenging it is for almost all of us (even those of us who consider ourselves “deep feelers”) to truly feel all of the feelings present for us, and this renders surrender the hardest state to achieve.

Surrender is an allowing of the feelings present beneath the surface that brings us under, and into a state where only the feeling is in “control.” This is frightening for the psyche, which is taught that it needs to be in control to protect us in all moments.

Resistance to the surrender is, therefore, a given part of the process — as with any new level of growth, each of our psyches will begin with the default mode they’re set up with to avoid “death” at all costs.

None of this is conscious, as we’re not talking about physical death, but the death of parts of ourselves, cells and DNA, buried emotions, and beliefs we’ve subconsciously held onto for lifetimes.

And it’s the unconscious process that must take place within us to move from resistance to surrender that’s just as important as finding surrender itself. Because within the former, we cannot find the latter.

So, in the lightened, expansive, and “OMG-now-it-all-makes-sense” glorious aftermath of further deepened levels of surrender I recently went through with my business and life, I’m excited to offer 6 steps to support each of us in getting through the resistance and finding new levels of surrender.

Because so much of this is about pacing and fully integrating each step rather than rushing into the next, I’m going to guide you through the first two steps and share the rest next week. (To make sure you don’t miss out, remember to sign up at the bottom of this page for our magical updates delivered straight to your inbox.)

1. Acknowledge the resistance.

Resistance can show up in so many ways — it can be circumstances that continue to arise to give us triggers that are asking us to go into surrender (but our minds make up are just shitty circumstances), or feelings of anxiety that seem to come out of nowhere, or our thoughts or behaviors directing toward a pattern of distraction or self-sabotage (like checking social media or our cell phones when we don’t need to, eating for comfort, or any of the plethora of behaviors we subconsciously use to numb or distract ourselves from what we’re feeling deep down, that we don’t usually consciously even know we’re feeling yet).

By simply acknowledging the presence of resistance, we can become more aware of the behaviors or go-tos of our psyche to distract from the surrender our souls are asking for.

2. Be with the resistance.

Trying to “do something” to clear away resistance adds fuel to the fire. The only way out of resistance and into surrender is through a softening of the mind and body. When we enter resistance, if we try to do anything to clear it, we act against the softening and subconsciously try to control it. Anything that even remotely represents the tiniest element of control will only prolong the resistance. This means that until we’re ready to act on the softening from a place that feels softened, the best thing for us it to allow ourselves to simply be with the resistance.

Sometimes this even looks like consciously choosing to stop doing in life, and give your body and mind room to simply be in the resistance itself. It could mean taking a bath, just sitting with your breath, or even calling it a day and watching a few hours of Netflix.

There’s a fine line between self-sabotage and increasing the resistance. But forcing ourselves to work or progress on our to-do list through the resistance will only cause the resistance to remain for much longer, keeping us away from the ultimate shift that will help that work or the outcomes of those to-dos to become far more powerful.

Remember to come back next week for the four remaining steps to deepen this process and make lasting change in your life. If you’re not already subscribed to our newsletter, you can sign up below and never miss an update again.

Why It’s Okay to Lose Faith

Why It’s Okay to Lose Faith

This week in Sorcerer School we’re working with finding faith. And so inevitably, as Sorcerer School has had a way of doing with me over the last year and a half that I’ve been facilitating it, my own awareness of the topic has been tested.

Because what would something called Sorcerer School be if its leader weren’t truly walking their talk? We certainly can’t have a Sorceress trying to create a hierarchy, when leading from Source means anything but.

And so almost every week, I’m taken deeper into practicing what I preach and living my work.

A month ago, things inside of the MDS world began to expand — almost more quickly than we could handle. People flooded in from the woodworks, each person clear that the work of MDS and Sorcerer School was what they have been asking for, for some time now.

There was a huge sense of “Finally!!” with the droves of people asking for my time, and there was an equal sense of “Finally!” on my end as I watched the magic inside of MDS unfold in the way I had envisioned.

And then it all halted.

While at a conference, my boundaries were being shaken and I received some mixed messages from Source that, for the first time in a very long time, left me feeling like I wasn’t absolutely clear on where I was being guided or what was being requested of me.

I took some time to pause with the mixed messages and work through what was creating them, and then had to go back to the all-consuming commitments I had been guided to say yes to, despite my usual boundaries.

In addition to that, some personal things hit as well, and eventually I crumbled under the weight of it all. My body gave in, I got sick for the first time in a long time, and the world began to look gray.

It was like my ability to stay present first and foremost to the magic (even when surrounded by circumstances that looked far from magical) had flipped — and what I saw were gray clouds covering up the magic that I still consciously knew existed but could no longer feel.

Over the last week I’ve been in and out. Up and down. Putting on my waders and mucking through the mixed messages from Source. Weaving in and out of cleansing, clearing and more magic, and frustration, doubts, and a lack of faith I haven’t felt in quite some time.

Thankfully, all of this internal work has me well honed to let myself go there. I didn’t push away my resentment or anger toward Source. I didn’t try to pretend the messages weren’t confusing when they were, nor did I try to overanalyze them. I stayed true to my feelings, I flowed the anger and resentment, and I allowed the wavering of faith to happen when it needed to.

Today, as I allowed the gentle rock in the wavering of faith to continue, I chose not to hide it. I let it out into the open during our weekly team meeting, finding that in allowing myself to question my faith openly, what came through me was a new restoration of the peace I’d been seeking.

I closed the team meeting to get onto another call, which subsequently opened up more questioning, bringing me to yet another breakdown leading to a breakthrough.

Each time, I allowed myself to go down the rabbit holes fueled by lack of faith, unattached to what I would find. And each time, I came out with new clarity that actually restored my faith, piece by piece.

And as the clarity grew, I received my first ever apology from Source. Yes. Apology.

And here’s what I’m now getting, dear human. A message for you. A message for humanity.

We are living in epic times. Times of change. Times of a great catalyst of growth. Times where we are all being called to step up in ways that express our true power as humans, that trump the illusion of anything but love in ways our protective psyches still cannot fully fathom.

So who is to say God isn’t still figuring this out along with us?

Yes, Source is everything. But where there is everything, there is also nothing.

We’re living this experience as humans, on a planet where duality is an automatic and already existing part of the experience we came here for.

So yes, we can allow ourselves to surrender fully into the truth that all there is is love, and that in that, and in the guidance of the love, we will be completely and utterly led to where we are going.

And yet, we chose to do this in a place where the illusions exist, too. So can we allow for the illusion of duality to also guide us?

Can we allow for the illusion of time to also guide us?

Because what I am now hearing, loud and clear, is that although on some level everything you know you’re here to become and everything you know you’re here to create has already happened, in the existence of duality in this experience, Source is still figuring out aspects of navigating where we’re going in this very present moment of the journey.

And as I soaked in the bath tonight, this is what came through —

We are all in this together, dear ones. This is a ride I haven’t been on yet, either. Stay true to me, yes. Trust in me, yes. But please allow me to figure this out along with you.

 I am guiding you to create your business from a space that’s closer to me than humans have gone before. You, and your tribe that is being called to do the same, are all the predecessors of a wave of humans ready and able to know themselves as me. This is going to take some time, some trial and error.

 You’ve known for some time that surrender and choice are corresponding co-creative elements of this journey. So now, as you surrender, and as you choose, allow yourself to waver between the two to find your most magical balance of both.

 This path you walk isn’t just you choosing to know yourself as me. It’s you choosing to learn to walk a new walk, dance a new dance that will change the world.

 Don’t expect to learn to dance overnight. And don’t expect me to learn how to teach you to dance overnight when I’m still figuring out the moves myself.

 You can trust me. You know this. Because I am all that is. And I am you. And I will ensure that this journey is everything you have chosen for it to be; everything I have guided you to choose it to be.

 But for those times when you lose your faith, I get it. Allow yourself to feel it. Allow yourself to experience the anger, and then forgive me through the very flow of the feeling itself. Because, as you know, feeling heals everything.

 So no, my dear, I haven’t dropped you. I haven’t intended to send you mixed signals. I haven’t intended to make you wait quite this long or work quite this hard.

 I have intended what you have intended. And we are in this together.