I want to talk today about a very common downfall that I see happen with those of you who are trying to create change.
And it might be change in a company culture. It could be change in your home or your family. It could be change in something in society that you’d like to see change. It might be change in your leadership team that you’re hoping to shift in some way to grow your business more powerfully. It could be anything, any form of change.
What I see happen is when you are holding on to something that you know is true. The truth that you’re holding often comes from a knowing deep inside of you. I refer to it as the “deep knowing”. And it is a part of yourself that is powerful, that is meant to be used to support.
But a lot of us have layers of protection around that truth that we’re holding. And so you might be holding onto the truth very tightly because a part of your psyche – like a part of you that’s not really you – is trying to protect that truth. So you hold onto it very, very, very tightly.
And what happens then is the way that you communicate the truth becomes like a web of truth.
And then what happens with a web of truth is it get what gets wound so tightly. And underneath, a web of truth becomes no different than a web of lies.
Yes. A web of truth becomes no different than a web of lies.
If you’ve ever seen, for example, someone who’s holding onto something that you know isn’t true; that is harming people. It could be a political group. It could be a company that knows that what they’re doing in how they run their business is hurting the environment. When they’re holding onto that lie, they believe it so strongly and they get wrapped into a web of it to convince themselves that they’re doing the right thing. And they may genuinely be convinced and it can be really hard to break through to them.
But when you’re holding onto a web of truth, I don’t care how true and how supportive it is and how much people might need to hear that truth. When you hold onto a web of truth, you become unconsciously would in it. You don’t know this consciously at the time, but you become wound in it tightly and then people can’t receive your truth, because it feels like a web to them.
So what I invite you to do instead is to hold your truth with lightness. Like if you had a bunch of Christmas lights that were tangled up, you’d have to be very gentle. You’d have to lay them out to see where the first knot is to get to the next, to get to the next right.
And I’m not necessarily asking you to unknot your truth in the moment when you’re trying to communicate with someone. However, when you hold what you know to be true with more lightness, it invites in what they know, whether it’s true or not. And you can find more truth in between both of you.
So you can find some sort of a common point or a common ground that helps them relate to you. And with that lightness, your truth is going to carry a lot, lot farther, a lot farther.
So that’s what I have for you today.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. How does it feel for you when someone is clinging to a perception so tightly that they won’t leave room for your perception of truth? What do you think we, as a society, can do to be more open to each others’ truth and find common ground?