Sometimes extremes are good. If we’re lucky, extremely cold weather gives us skiing and the comfort of hot chocolate and cozy fires, and extremely hot weather gives us poolside drinks with umbrellas and the happiness of sunshine. I love off the wall, senseless comedy as much as serious, life contemplative drama. But not all extremes create the same feeling of fresh perspective and enjoyment. When it comes to communication, the extremes of speaking your truth no matter what, and clamming up to hold the truth inside are both detrimental. Really, nobody wants either.
I noticed that no one liked the extremes in communication from a young age. I stood by as too many people refused to speak up about what they were thinking or feeling, only to watch those same people get walked all over, sick from holding their emotions inside, and controlled by other forces with a louder voice. And I tested the waters of my constantly vocal sense of self – not knowing what to do to stop the voice inside of me that felt compelled to speak up, but not knowing what to do to have it be heard differently either. And it backfired on me many, many times.
But I kept at it. And over the years I noticed — there may not be a happy extreme in communication, but there IS a necessity to find a happy medium. And so I played with it. I studied the tools that were already there waiting, and I continued to play with my communication skills; and I continued to study, and kept on playing with it. And while my communication is still a work in progress (let’s face it, human beings are dynamic, so our communication needs will always be changing) I can honestly say that I LOVE having the crunchy conversations that I used to believe either got me in trouble or hurt. Those same conversations that I’ve seen backfire, I now see open up my relationships, create understanding and community, and open up pathways for people to work together in an extraordinary way. I now get commended for having such “crunchy” conversations by the people I’m having them with. And because of them, I’ve found myself in a place of less need to have such conversations, because my relationships and my daily life flows more smoothly anyway.
I want to challenge you to find where you’re at on the spectrum. Are you on the extreme of wanting to communicate everything? Or do you shy away from communication out of fear of speaking up, making waves, or burning bridges? And if you’re somewhere in the middle, what else can you work on in ensuring your crunchy conversations become comfortable and easeful? No matter where you fall, my latest video will offer some fresh perspective and new tools to help you to find your own balance in communication. In response to a viewer’s question, I guide you through a technique to support you in making every crunchy conversation smooth. And don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube Channel, as this will be the first in a series about making difficult conversations easy!
Please comment below on how you can use Making Conscious Requests in your daily life – with your family, career, relationships, or to create more balance in your life. I’d love to hear from you!