Our egos can do a really great job at convincing us we are separate and disconnected from others. It’s what lets us slip so deeply into heartache, loneliness, feelings of not being seen, financial frustration, disillusionment, day-to-day overwhelm, and even bigger bouts of depression and anxiety.
In moments of pure inspiration and love, we know this is total bullshit. But how can we remember that when everything feels like it’s falling apart?
This is what I was contemplating recently as I struggled to integrate that massive expansion I had in Peru at MDS’ Become Retreat. It seemed like everywhere I turned, there was a door shutting in my face. I was longing for opportunities to reconnect with my greatness and felt like all I was getting was a series of, “nope, you’re not good enough; you’ll never receive this desire.”
In the past, this might have led to a downward spiral of shame. I might have lashed out or numbed out.
What happened instead reminded me of how far I’ve come in my evolution:
1. REFRAMED. I started reframing some of the things happening to me through a lens of love. For instance, instead of panicking about the various commitments I have on deck for August, I thought to myself, “I have so much love in my life! So many people to support and spend time with!”
Yes, sometimes it can feel false to go there, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes and the more you truly believe it.
2. SUPPORTED OTHERS. I made sure I was of service. I remembered how good it feels to support others through my work, and I allowed myself to do just that. I replied to emails from my clients asking for help and I offered it up willingly and lovingly. When you don’t think you can give love to yourself, it definitely feels powerful and good to give it to others.
3. TOOK A BREAK. I gave myself permission to take a break. Not a numbing break or one that made me ignore what I was going through; but one that made me reconnect with my heart.
For me, watching this season of So You Think You Can Dance fills me with tremendous life, awe, and love. When I view it with that intention, I’m able to get grounded again and remember that life is a miracle. It might seem like a big leap from watching kids dance hip hop to experience life as a miracle, but that’s what it does for me every time I let it.
I can’t lie and say that these three steps made everything feel like rainbows and roses again, but maybe that isn’t always what we need. Maybe sometimes all we need is to make it to the next moment, to keep stepping forward and remembering that we are still alive, and that’s an amazing gift in and of itself.
It’s in these small moments that we can renew ourselves and remember that life is worth living.
And as long as we remember that often enough throughout a seemingly bad day, there can be joy and lightness and connection.