Last week I told you the story of my airline fiasco. If you haven’t read it yet, go check it out! But I will let you know, it’s not necessary to receive the message you need to hear – feel free to dive in if you’d like.
So how did I come out of what felt to me like one of the worst days of my life (not just logistically, but emotionally)?
How did I juggle dealing with many of the pieces of uncertainty within it, and receive both deep transformation and an awareness of the perfection of my messy path in such a short time? How did I remain open to the crap that came my way?
I get questions about this from people frequently, and after witnessing it in my own life yet again, it felt important to share with you.
I’m going to share the secrets with you today – 6 simple hacks on how to stay open, even when everything feels like they’re falling apart.
- Surrender, surrender, surrender.
We can’t get the lessons or make the best decisions when we’re trying to control what’s in front of us. When we try to control, we shut down the ability to facilitate and receive the growth, transformation, and awareness waiting for us.The only way out of control is to surrender – to surrender the “how” and the “why” to something greater than yourself and relax into whatever is waiting for you. And because you likely won’t be able to see the goodness immediately, this means relaxing into the “crap.”
- Dismiss the “messenger.”
Challenging circumstances in our lives arise as opportunities for us to feel feelings and emotions that have been stored deep down in us for years.The only way to receive the lesson or growth from a circumstance, person, or “trigger” is to FEEL it. And in order to feel it, it’s important to remember that it’s NEVER about them. Set your perception of them or what’s happening aside and allow yourself to feel the feelings sans story.Note: This does not mean never to take action or request something you need from someone. In my case, I will be taking action with the airline for compensation and to ensure it doesn’t continue to happen to more people.
- Feel it all, as it’s arising.
When we allow those feelings to flow, our bodies are cleaned out from old hidden traumas and buried emotional toxicity we’ve been carrying for sometimes our entire lives. As you’re receiving the “messages” from the “messenger/s”, don’t worry about what others think of you when these opportunities to feel arise in public. Let the feeling arise, when and how it wants to move through you.(I promise the more you do this, the more comfortable it will feel, and the more those around you will accept and honor it.)If you tell yourself you’ll feel it later, it may be difficult to come back to it. So feel it while it’s there, and you’ll find yourself many pounds lighter and the wounds being triggered will drastically shift.
- Keep returning to your body through the experience.
Your body is your safe space to feel. Being grounded and feeling your awareness in your body will calm your mind so as not to create more story or make the experience appear worse than it is.Your body is where your experiences flow. It will support you in releasing the feelings the circumstance is catalyzing in the easiest and most immediate way possible. So whatever you have to do while crap is coming your way – even if you have to step aside from something that seems urgent – do whatever you have to do to bring your awareness into your body.
- Do not solicit advice. Do ask for support.
During a difficult time, it is possible you may receive excellent advice. However, the only way of knowing what the best action for you is by tuning into the truth inside of you. Asking for advice will clutter you with possibilities, likely confusing you about what to do.Asking for support will allow you to receive any advice that may be there without you feeling like you have to “do” anything until you’re clear. And it will help you feel safe and supported to return to your deeper knowing about the situation.
- Give yourself lots of space.
In a moment of chaos, our bodies tend to contract. Whenever you need to make a decision about something that seems chaotic or contracting, it’s important to find a deeper sense of truth within you about the decision.Giving yourself the physical space to attune to your own energy and awareness is key here. So step away from other people, get out into nature if you can, and give yourself as much spaciousness of time and physical space to return to the guidance inside of you. Not only will it guide you to the decision you need to make to clear up the “crap,” it will also bring the a-ha of the lesson (if one is meant to come) much sooner.
What about you?
What are some hacks that have helped you remain open when crap comes your way? I’d love for you to share your experiences in the comments below!