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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how things just don’t seem to be going according to plan.
For the last couple of years, it seems that many of my goals – big and small – have been unfulfilled. This is a far greater source of frustration than you can imagine.
Growing up, planning was one of my absolute favorite things to do. There was a time when I misunderstood my childhood motives and thought it might have been my way of trying to control things around me. More recently, I realized I just really love to plan.
I love planning weddings, themed parties, weekend excursions, anything, really.
Life, of course, doesn’t always honor our plans. Making a dinner reservation for four at your favorite restaurant is not quite the same as deciding that 2016 will be the year you make six figures.
So I’ve always had an interesting relationship with planning. I found it fun and light and easy and full of joy. But at the same time, I was putting so much pressure on it.
I used to have backup plans for my backup plans, both because I was so good at planning and also because I was terrified of the unexpected.
Because the truth is, of course, that our plans can often get derailed.
There’s no way we can account for everything, and there’s always something else at play – a lesson to learn or a new thing to explore.
Even your plan to make dinner reservations can be thwarted.
Back then, I thought that if something happened outside of my plan, I’d be frozen, I’d stop moving forward.
And that was the bigger fear, really: Standing still.
I was afraid of remaining stagnant, and I was convinced that having things go “wrong” would bring me to a standstill.
I live for forward movement. My passion for travel, my commitment to personal growth, even my creative projects, all of my biggest driving forces are just that: forces that drive me forward, that make me move.
I’m afraid of a wasted life, one without evolution, one without a legacy. And this fear gets so wrapped up in my love for planning that it’s hard to pull them apart.
So now what? What do I do with these realizations and with the reality that things are not at all shaping up the way I thought they might when I went into business for myself a few years ago, or when I signed up to work with one of my favorite coaches just a few months ago, or when I decided to make a home in Los Angeles, or when I made every tiny decision that brought me to this point?
I take a breath.
I remember I have a world of support.
I allow myself to feel gratitude for all the magic I have in my life.
I move forward.
My first step is to re-evaluate how I’ve been relating to planning. I know now what it’s like to ditch the plan entirely and to hold on to it too much, and I’m ready to find a happy medium.
Once I do that, I know I’ll be able to come up with a new set of goals and a new plan that gives me room to breathe, one that feels expansive and joyful rather than limiting and small.
Even when things derail – know that everything is going to be okay.
We wake up as new beings every day, and I don’t know about you, but I’m excited to embrace that in a whole new way.
I’d love to have you share in the comments below: What do you do when things don’t go according to plan?