Do you ever have those days – randomly, out of the blue – where you wake up just feeling… odd?
It’s as if there’s been some kind of interruption. As if you’ve disconnected from the moment.
Personally, I don’t believe in coincidences or “things happening to me.”
For a self-actualized thinker like myself, I like to look at every moment as a learning opportunity. (Which can be both good and bad.) But sometimes being disconnected spins me into a myriad of stories and thoughts that leave me in a panic.
I’ll be mid-conversation and lose my thought because something else came to mind.
Or I’ll be writing a blog post or marketing campaign and suddenly the inspiration is sucked away by a consideration of someone outside of my target market.
The mind flurries begin:
Wait, what was I thinking/saying?
I will pause to try and get back my train of thought or what I was saying.
If I struggle to restart the thought, I feel a panic rise. Another flurry of thoughts scurry in.
What is going on?
Is something wrong?
Are you not happy?
Is everything okay?
Is this peeling back another layer?
What are you hiding?
It’s like an overprotective parent jumping at every cough or sneeze, thinking that something is wrong with their child. My thoughts spiral and suffocate the disconnection to tears.
My mind is attempting to control my experience and feelings. It can’t lean into the unknown. It’s scared.
Can you imagine how awful it would be to be around someone always trying to shape and control your experiences? (You’ve probably even experienced this.)
If you’ve been there, even for just a few minutes, you probably know how uncomfortable it can be.
And over the last few months, I’ve been really trying to teach myself to disconnect.
I know how this sounds – and let me be clear, it isn’t numbing out. It isn’t not feeling.
I’m compartmentalizing my thoughts into a safe place. Where they can be stored and nurtured until I’m ready to receive them in a calmer state.
Even if they seem unnatural, and you need to be careful about how you use them, moments of disconnection can be a valuable part of your process.
While they feel odd, and can even lead to that feeling of an identity crisis, disconnection is just another part of the human experience.
As with everything you experience in this life, it has its duality.
While disconnection can lead you into a place that feels unfamiliar, and also feeling similar to an identity crisis, there is a grounding that occurs as a disconnect courses through you – if you let it.
As you disconnect, you can explore.
You can greet both new and old feelings.
You can decide how you will respond to said feelings.
Without disconnection, we would never feel that familiar warmth that is settling back into our bodies.
We wouldn’t feel that surge of energetic confidence when we come to a decision or our truth on a topic that was really plaguing us.
We would never experience the magic of reconnecting.
We’d love to hear from you below on what comes up for you when you disconnect, does it feel scary? Like you’re slipping into the unknown? Like you’re not sure if you’ll “come back”?
Share with us, we’d love hear about your duality!